Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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