garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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