My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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