you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
