Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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