I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
