If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
