He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Small penises have feelings too.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You pole danced in your parka.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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