ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
