I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
