I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
