He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
