There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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