Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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