hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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