is wine microwaveable?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
