Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
