i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
