i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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