therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
