I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
