I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
