Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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