And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
