please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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