There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
