so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
