You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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