New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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