READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She's the barista slut.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
