Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
