i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
foreskin is a definite game changer
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
