I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
