Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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