it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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