so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Houston, we have a squirter
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
40s are totally the cure
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
