In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
