this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
