hotel room ftw
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
