i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
