Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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