she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
