he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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