Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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