So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
