Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
