So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
