i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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