That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
