Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
