you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
